Two of my friend breakups shook me and forced me to take accountability for the ways I was also responsible for repeating similar toxic ride-or-die cycles because I was not learning the same lessons. But now I’ve learned that riding-or-dying for my friends, especially when there’s no balance, no communication, and no true reciprocity, isn’t healthy, either. Whether you love the famous couple or not, it’s clear largest greek islands that the ride or die trope normalizes unhealthy behaviors and rewards people for staying in unhealthy relationships where they are routinely neglected and mistreated by their partner. This can be especially harmful to black women who are disproportionally impacted by unhealthy and abusive relationships. Despite this, celebrity couples continue to use the ride or die/ Bonnie and Clyde trope in music and videos.
Ride or die is a colloquial expression of extreme loyalty to someone or something. The 70s corduroy trend is back and it’s the perfect fabric for fall and winter. Trust is one of the most important foundations to a long-lasting relationship and a friend who can’t be trusted to always tell you the truth—no matter what—is no friend at all.
While I am aware of the ways I have performed harmful ride-or-dieness throughout my life and career, I am still learning to move away from this need to automatically sacrifice myself for those who wouldn’t do the same for me. This complex reaction belongs to so many first-born daughters of immigrants, to so many women and femmes, to many of us who grew up in one-parent and/or unstable homes. For years, I thought my tendency was a sign of compassion, maybe something even noble, but I’ve realized it is a toxic trait because it is a morphed reflection of the noxious version to ride-or-die.
Unfortunately, this gives an unworthy partner the opportunity to take advantage of your undying loyalty. Staying in a bad relationship to prove your love is a disservice to yourself. Love that constantly needs to be proven creates a hierarchy within your relationship. True love isn’t about taking from each other — it’s a reciprocal relationship. A real loving relationship gives you everything you need to prosper. Your boyfriend is amazing, and he will always be there for you no matter what.
I wouldn’t be surprised if this phrase really goes back to the west, Margaret. I watch a lot of reality shows, and the contestants usually talk about having a “ride or die.” This surely proves that a “ride or die” relationship can develop into something much more. Oprah Winfrey and Stedman Graham are each other’s “ride or die.” They have been in a serious relationship for over 36 years.
Ride-or-dies who stick with you through thick and thin are about as close to family as you can get. Every one sees that he’s taking your love for granted, but you. When you’re in a ride or die relationship your mind has a funny way of romanticizing your reality. You tell yourself “he loves me”, “he didn’t mean that” or blame others for his poor actions. Whether he’s your first love or your longest-lasting relationship, you are comfortable with him, and the idea of leaving him in spite of all the mistreatment is scary. You don’t know if your next partner will be able to compare to him.
This type of boyfriend has love and respect for you, and he tries to do everything in his power to make you feel loved. When your boyfriend is also your ride or die, he will make you feel special. Such a person will always try to be better for you because he loves and respects you. He wants your future together to be as amazing as possible, and he knows that being his better self is the only way he can achieve that goal. If your boyfriend is also your ride or die, then he will be honest with you. He won’t lie to you, nor will he sugarcoat things when they get tough.